Matchmaking service: how it works today

Matchmaking is the oldest way people have ever been brought together — and still one of the most successful. It looks different today, but the heart of it has not changed: somebody knows both sides and chooses for you.

How it differs from a dating site

The difference is who does the work. A dating site hands you a tool and a list of people; the searching, sorting and deciding is yours. Matchmaking works the other way round: you say who you are and what you need, and somebody else does the choosing.

It sounds like a small difference, but it changes everything. When you choose from an endless list, twenty profiles in you are no longer deciding who suits you — you are deciding who you still have the energy to assess. When somebody else selects, you are not worn out, and that is precisely the state in which a person notices someone they would otherwise have passed.

How it actually goes

**Getting to know you.** You describe who you are, how you live, what you do at weekends and what you could not put up with at home. Good matchmaking also asks about things that look unrelated to relationships — those are usually the deciding ones.

**The choosing.** The matchmaker searches what she has and weighs up both sides at once. The question is not who appeals to you, but whether this has a chance of still working in a year.

**One suggestion.** You get one name, not a list. You say yes or no, and until you do, no other one arrives.

**Another try.** If it does not fit, you say so and the search continues. Saying why matters — it sharpens the next choice.

Why it used to be expensive

A traditional matchmaking agency had one person who knew, say, two hundred clients personally. That work was priced accordingly and often ran into the thousands. It worked well, but few people could afford it.

That is exactly what has changed. Today the work of getting to know people and comparing them can be carried by technology, so a matchmaker does not need two hundred clients but can comfortably have thousands — and the price has dropped to a fraction.

How SilviaDate does it

Silvia is a matchmaker who works exactly like this. She knows both sides, weighs them up together, and sends one suggestion when she believes in it herself. Every profile is checked by hand first.

There is no list, nothing to swipe and no catalogue of faces. We do not only ask about age and height, but also about what matters to you in life and what closeness means to you.

Who it suits

We will not claim it suits everyone. If you enjoy searching, comparing and keeping everything in your own hands, a big dating site gives you more freedom. Matchmaking makes sense when you want a serious relationship, have neither the time nor the appetite for searching, and would rather get one considered suggestion now and then than another hundred every evening.

Signing up takes a few minutes, you confirm your e-mail, and Silvia starts looking. In the meantime you do nothing at all.